Everybody knows a bully
A bully is someone who picks on other kids. Someone who thinks it is funny to make others sad, someone who excludes specific others.
But a bully is also the person who joins in. Or the person who calls names because someone else did it first, or maybe also the person who does nothing to prevent the others from picking on someone.
Bullying affects peoples lives. It can destroy peoples lives.
It is very important to talk to your tween about what being a bully means – and it doesn’t mean you are cool. It means you are mean.
It is, however, also important to know if your tween is getting bullied!
We can always tell our kids the old ‘Sticks and stones’ tale – but when words become too many and too often they will hurt, and they will destroy their confidence.
We can also say that it is the bully you should feel sorry for. He or she is also having a bad time, – we don’t know what they are going through! – and yes, that is true, but it is still doesn’t solve the problem for the kid that is getting bullied.
We can also build our kid up, and tell them that they just have to ignore the words, wear an invisible shield, or tell a teacher or an adult.
They will then try to tell a teacher. They might even say something to the kids involved, but it often doesn’t help. It is difficult to prove the continued eye-rolls, the laughter, or the comments when someone gets paired with you in class, or the actual exclusion from the group.
Bullying is serious, and needs to be dealt with!
For it to be classified as bullying it has to occur several times, systematically! Stupid comments are exactly that – and will happen throughout your life.
SO WHAT IS BULLYING?
NAMECALLING // Calling names, using sarcastic remarks to be mean, pretending to be joking, but mean every word. This occurring often.
GOSSIPING // Telling stories behind someone’s back, getting others involved, spreading rumours.
EXCLUSION // Purposely excluding someone from the group, making them feel wrong and not worthy. Purposely picking them last in group activities.
BODY LANGUAGE // Eye-rolls, and mean looks of disgust. Moving away from the person.
PHONE & SOCIAL MEDIA // Ignoring phone calls, blocking on SoMe channels. Sending mean things – even if it includes ‘LOL’ or ‘JOKE’. It is clearly not a joke.
NOT DOING ANYTHING // Partaking, or not helping someone is also bullying. You need to step in. If someone seems to be all alone, with no-one who has their back, they probably are all alone. Be the good kid that notices, and CARES.
WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP IF SOMEONE IS GETTING BULLIED ??
SAY NO // Tell the bully to stop and treat people with respect! Stand up tall!
STOP EXCLUDING AND LAUGHING // Just stop participating. It is NOT fun or cool to be a bully.
TELL SOMEONE // Tell a teacher, adult or parent what goes on! Do it now!
BE THE KID that help the bullied and lonely kid. Help them, join them, be kind – what if it was you?
TALK ABOUT IT // Get a person to chat about common sense, exclusion, and how to speak to each other in a nice way. Get a debate going in class – speak about what bullying means. What it does to people….
WHAT CAN I DO IF I AM BEING BULLIED!!
MOST of the above and also:
It is important to remember that there is NOTHING wrong with you. You need to speak to somebody, and there is help to find. People will help you. It will get better.
CALL A HELPLINE // If you are being bullied, and do not know what to do – call a HELPLINE where people can help you. Google helplines in your country. We have listed a few below.
AND REMEMBER – IF YOU CAN BE ANYTHING – BE KIND!!! ALWAYS.